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I did a pretty good job of remaining calm on the outside but on the inside I was falling to pieces.
By the time I returned home on Saturday evening I was a wreck, not knowing what had happened and, most scarily, what lay ahead.
I’m well on the road to recovery but certainly not out of the woods yet.
Every day is presenting me with challenges, some bigger than others, however I’m confident that I’m on track.
I had no idea what was happening or why and I was overcome with both fear and confusion.
In a nutshell I was having a panic attack and, as I now know, this was the beginning of anxiety disorder.
I couldn’t have done this without the support of my family, friends and parkrun colleagues; for this I am extremely grateful.
Over time this work-life-blend simply wore me down and my body responded through anxiety and panic.Somehow I still managed to get on the flight, and somehow I managed not to disembark in a panic as the remaining passengers also boarded.The flight itself was horrific; I kept my head buried in the in-flight magazine trying desperately to take my mind off what was really happening.Without even knowing it, the smiles, laughter and friendships I received at parkrun have made my days better, even when I wasn’t feeling great at the time.I know this letter has been a bit indulgent however I hope that these words help a few of you out there going through a tough time.
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