Dating outside the box

Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls." -- Khalil Gibran There's an art – an elusive, delicate, almost indescribable art – to forging the kind of marriage that not only enables the partners to spend enjoyable time with one another, but which actually nurtures and encourages real togetherness.As you may have already discovered, clinginess, control, and a demanding attitude that says, "I want you to spend time with me, and I want it now!Actor Lucas Neff has been quoted as saying, "That honeymoon phase is so much fun in real life, when you meet and discover somebody new and fall in love and chase them – the pursuit, and that climactic final moment of ultimate togetherness." Whether he knows it or not, in these few words Neff has summed up the essence of nearly all the world's great romantic comedies.He's given us Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream in miniature – a quick snapshot of the push and pull, the advance and retreat, the playful tug and release that make love between the sexes such a hilariously stimulating and addictive game.

"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

They need the ebb and flow of independence and togetherness.

You can infuse this kind of experience into your marriage by making room for novelty and variety and by working an element of the unexpected into your date night plans.

Think planting a new flower bed, doing a jigsaw puzzle, or painting a room.

If a sitter is nowhere to be found, there’s no better place to keep the kids at bay while you reconnect than at the park.

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When the traditional dinner and a movie on Saturday night just isn’t going to happen, try one of these fresh date ideas: If you can find a neighbor or friend to hang out with the kids for an hour (or two), go for a quick bike ride, run, or walk.

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